It’s been years since the divorce rate in America was below 50 percent, and in that time, plenty of hardened hearts and hurt feelings have existed in the land. Few divorces are truly amicable, even though many of them are described as such. That in mind, few kids have had a good time of the divorce process. Between remembering arguments long passed, and constant shuffling between separated parents, your new dating habits can be hard to accept. Breaking the news that you’ve decided to move beyond dating and on to another marriage can be really tough.

There’s no way to control how your kids react to the news that you’ll walk down the aisle again. Kids are their own people, and their feelings are their own. Regardless, the news must be broken at some point, especially if you’ve already shopped for engagement rings. To break the news and hope for some sort of positive reaction from your jaded kids, it’s important to keep it real. Don’t go all out, spending a lot on an expensive meal or other lavish treatment in the hopes that this once-in-a-blue-moon treatment will create some sort of good feeling. Instead, keep it simple, and treat your kids as you would adults.

Check with your kids about when they’ve got time to sit down and talk with you. Don’t just catch them in the hallway one morning and blurt out your news. Have some time arranged, in both your day and theirs, in which to share this important news fully. You’ll want to be able to answer any questions they’ll have. If your kids ask a question you don’t know how to answer, don’t make something up. Be honest. Tell them you don’t know. But be sure to elaborate on the main point; you’ve found love again and you need to follow your heart.